Leading from Fire and Root: The Ember & Oak Way
At Ember & Oak Leadership, we believe the most powerful leaders don’t choose between connection and capability; they embody both.
You’ve likely met them (the leaders who don’t need to raise their voices to be heard). The ones whose presence alone fosters trust in the room. Not because they dominate, but because they emanate clarity and care.
This is the type of leadership we help cultivate at Ember & Oak.
It all starts with two key traits: warmth and competence.
The Two Signals That Define a Leader
Before anyone hears your credentials or listens to your strategy, they’re asking two things:
Can I trust you?
Can I count on you?
These aren’t questions of logic; they’re human instincts. People respond not just based on what you say, but also on how you make them feel.
At Ember & Oak, we view warmth as the ember, or the spark of connection that says, “You’re safe here.”
We view competence as the oak, or the grounded strength that says, “You’re in good hands.”
When leaders show both, they don’t just gain attention, they earn commitment.
Warmth: The Ember of Human-Centered Leadership
Warmth isn’t about being soft. It’s about being present.
It’s the quality that fosters openness in others, creating a space where collaboration flourishes and voices are acknowledged. When leaders exude warmth, they cultivate trust and a sense of belonging.
Here’s what warmth looks like in leadership:
Genuine eye contact and open posture
Inclusive language that centers the team (“we” instead of “I”)
Listening without rushing to solve
Recognizing effort, not just outcomes
Being human first, leader second
In fast-paced organizations, warmth can seem like a luxury. However, research on psychological safety reveals a different story. Teams perform better when they feel emotionally supported, not micromanaged or ignored.
At Ember & Oak, we teach leaders to protect the ember because that’s where culture is built.
Competence: The Oak of Steady, Clear Direction
If warmth is what draws people in, competence is what keeps them aligned.
Competence isn’t just about being good at your job; it’s about how reliably and clearly you lead others through uncertainty. It’s a steady hand, not a heavy one.
Competence shows up when leaders:
Set clear expectations and follow through
Speak with structure and conviction
Demonstrate confidence without arrogance
Make thoughtful, timely decisions
Inspire trust by modeling excellence
Competence isn’t perfection; it’s presence. It tells your team, “You’re not alone. I’ve got this.”
At Ember & Oak, we nurture the oak because roots are just as important as reach.
The Ember & Oak Ethos: A Leadership Metaphor with Meaning
We didn’t choose our name for aesthetics. We chose it for what it represents:
Ember: The source of warmth, connection, and the emotional spark that lights up trust.
Oak: The grounded, unwavering strength of a leader others rely on for clarity and steadiness.
When these two forces converge, you get a different kind of leadership, one grounded in humanity and strengthened through intention.
You don’t need to be louder or flashier to lead this way; you need to be deliberate.
We're here to help you achieve that.
Practical Ways to Build Both
To grow your ember (warmth):
Be present. Put away distractions and give people your full attention.
Ask before you advise. Show curiosity before giving direction.
Share your own learning moments. Vulnerability builds connection.
Use people’s names. Make them feel seen.
To grow your oak (competence):
Communicate with structure—know your point before making it.
Avoid over-apologizing or hedging. Speak with conviction.
Follow through consistently. Reliability is charisma in action.
Explain the “why.” Show how your actions support shared purpose.
Leadership That Leaves a Legacy
The leaders we remember most aren’t just skilled; they’re human. They make us feel safe and strong in their presence.
At Ember & Oak Leadership, we believe that is the true goal. It’s more than just performance; it’s more than just influence.
Impact with integrity. Connection with conviction. Leadership grounded in roots and passion.
So, the next time you prepare to speak, make a decision, or guide your team through a challenge, ask yourself:
“Am I leading with warmth?”
“Am I grounding them with strength?”
Because that’s what great leadership feels like.
And that’s the Ember & Oak way.
About the Author
Clayton Thompson, Ph.D., is a Colonel in the U.S. Air Force with over 20 years of leadership experience. He is the author of the upcoming book RA-RA Feedback: It’s Not a Moment. It’s a System! for building trust, accelerating growth, and creating a leadership advantage.
